CHAPTER I INTRODUCTION
A. Background of the Study As feminist knowledge developed and became
more sophisticated throughout the 1970s,
family has cometo be an important object of analysis (Pilcher, and Whelehan, 2004: 43). Family is
the most significant social organization
on people’s community. Psychologically, family is a group of people who live together in one place in which, each
member has a very close heart relationship
that makes all members of one family influence and take care of each other (Soelaeman in Sochib, 1998: 7).
A family also takes the most
important role in forming human’s characters.
It has a very crucial responsibility to secure human’s social prosperity in order to enable themto survive in life. As
the smallest system, family has a main
purpose to construct a conducive atmosphere for each member as the way to learn the maturity in which, it may be assumed
as the provision to socialize in one society
later.However, the existence of a family becomes the very basic foundation to shape one person’s personality
(Kartono, 1994: 8). It is the main factor
in forming a person’s life perception, behavior, and human quality.
Therefore, in order to optimize
this exalted function, all components that are the members of the family should be exceedingly
cooperative and support each other.
There is a strong invisible bond
that undertakes each family member - especially between mother and children. In this case, all
members of one family have the sameresponsibility
to realize those all. Based on this family’s greatest importance, everyone actually should aware the
family role respectively. Not only father,
and mother, but also the children respect to the family nature. The whole parts are absolutely needed to hold the real
happy family cooperatively (Naqiyah, 2005:
160).
The real phenomena to the
contrary, mostly cases prove that there is only mother who always works harder than everyone
to realize those all happiness.
Since the sun rises till the
night comes, mother has never stopped devoting to her family. She works the whole day, physically
and psychologically. Mother prepares all
needs for her husband and children. She thinks all others’ prosperities.Moreover, mother will do anything
for protecting her children.
Sometimes she even forgets what
her own need is.When the children get upset or suddenly wake up at the night because of
nightmare, they just call their mother for protection, not their father. Every time a
person feels scared or suddenly restless, he or she directly thinks of his or her mother
and look for her to get secured.
Thus, a mother is exactly the
glorious figure in one person’s life. The good mother always does everything to make her family feel
comfortable (Abdullah, 2001: ix).
As what the social construction
has assumed that woman’s job in a family is only related to her domestic realms,
bearing children, and maintaining household,
while the husband’s job is to work outside and to earn much money.
This assumption strongly adheres
on people’s mind like a doctrine which cannot be blotted out (www. woman in Islam_ Role as
Mother/index.html). As being a mother
and having the duty to maintainhousehold, woman are also assumed to stay only at home, not permitted to learn and
to work as man in which, this assumption
finally places woman as a person who is thought incapable to socialize in a public environment. Sanford (in
Sebatu, 1994 : xv) states that in the normsof
society, women’s job and identity is only defined based on their intelligence in maintaining household, bearing
children, and their obedience in doing
the consequences fromthose roles. However, it does not mean that a husband is more superior than a wife, atall.
Perhaps it seems that husband works harder
to fulfill his family’s necessities, whereas the wife just stays athome, waits for her husband, and maintains household in
the whole day. Ironically, this social construction
also becomes a great tool to judge man’s superiority and to set woman’s inferiority. Brownmiller (inSebatu,
1994 : xvi) claimsthat woman is an under
- man’s controlled human. In addition, Tompkins (in Bressler, 1999: 178) states : “What enrages me is the way women are used as
extensions of men, mirrors of men,
devices for showing men off,devices forhelping men get what they want. They are neverthere in
their own right,or rarely.
The world of western contains no
women. Sometimes I think the world contains
no woman.” Yet, the husband who works outside
frequently treats woman as he likes because
he thinks that his capability togrant the family is one of his best authorities. On the other hand, woman has
always devoted herself thoroughly to her
husband and children, as a wife and firmmother - even though she never gets the fair rewards – becauseit will be quietly
impossible to give a truly fair reward for
what she devotes in the whole life. Naqiyah (2005: vii) assumes that woman sacrifices her life to devote to her familyby
spending all her time to keep a joy for her
beloved persons.
However, being a mother could be
a pride and horrible troublesomeat once.
It is glorious to be a good mother but extremely not easy to do. In the mother’s hand, the future holds on. Mother has
the main function to educate children
the right way to be a good person and to appreciate themselves during their life. Therefore, it is a terribly
difficult chance for women for being a mother.
Although it is hard to hold on
that count mandate by herself, women in this world keep doing it not only because of her destiny,
but they accept it willingly with all rejoiced
heart. They love and enjoy being a mother, bearing children, and maintaining household. It is one satisfaction
for women only, men will never know how
to feel being pregnant, to bring a little baby to the world, and so on.
Being a mother is completely the
mostbeautiful grace God ever gave (Abdullah, 2001: 8).
Unfortunately, this mercy is
often used to stereotype women as the second sex. Because of this view, women
are seen as a weak and gentle person. They are not accustomed to being incapable for deciding
their own destiny. Men always dominate
anything for them. Saparinah (Kardinah, 1993: ix) strengthens this by arguing that women only follow what have been
ascertained for them. Even though there
are many feminists and female activists who fight for women’s right equality, but many other women still keep
gettingoppressed, unequal treatment fromthe
society, and getting subordinating assumption today. For example, what have happened to many work-women who work
abroad, they get very inhuman treatment
fromtheir master. Many of themwent homewith full-wounded body getting no money at all becausethey are not
paid off. Yet, they – mostly mother - work
to earn money for her family. There are also still many marital rapes exist in many parts of this world. However, mothers
still need to struggle more and more for
their existence, they still do not get the appropriate appreciation for what
they exist. The fact proves that Black
women in Daifur are still being oppressed by Whites today. There are many Black mothers who
should hardly struggle to survive. Their
husbands are killed, and they should sexually serve the Whites every night. If they refuse, they willbe
whipped--while these Black women, mostly,
have at least five to seven children, and should live together in a narrow straw tent. These black mothers should beable
to role as mother, father, and nanny at one
time. Even, in Thailand, women mainly functions not only to maintain household, but also to go work, to
earn money, and fulfill any family’s equipments.
The husbands, even, do nothing to help them. Davies (1987: 182) confirmsthat this culturaltradition doesnot
actually happen only in this modern era,
but since several decades ago women had always gotten oppression much more mortally, such as racismand slavery
effects.
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